When you have fallen to the bottom of your world:

you can
lie facedown, forehead pressed to the hardwood floor knowing that you have no control over what happens next,
keep pressing the play next episode button on Netflix, eat potato chips and stare vacantly, giving away your hours
tell the truth that you want nothing anymore
ask for help and ignore the voices that say everyone is judging you to be unable
and then
remain silent, you don’t have to have the answers now


you can
batten down the hatches and crouch down as the storm rages and the winds rip off boards and shingles
give in to the infinite weeping and not know how you will make it through the next day
play solitaire for days, worshipping the perfect order of red on black,
practice letting go of what has been taken from you
and then
polish the old scars that you have carried forever, until they shine


you can
trust and not trust the people around you,
call betrayal by its true name,
quit flashing the false grin,
stop the performance of nice girl or good guy
release what you thought you wanted and make space for something unprecedented
only do what rekindles your soul fire
and then
love your own crusty, burnt heart
with a quiet new ferocity

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